it makes me sad to think about where you must be now.
i suppose, for my own comfort, i could envision that everything got better for you.
i could imagine that you got away from the toxic environment, made things right with your parents, strengthened your relationships with your siblings.
i could picture that you’re taking your hobbies and creative interests and doing something beautiful with them. i could pretend that you’ve gotten a job you like, are finishing up school, maybe have a boyfriend who supports you, maybe are planning to adopt the pet you’ve been dreaming of this year.
but it feels unnatural to suppose all that.
when there’s very little evidence or hope that things will go up from where they are, the comfort one can find in thinking the very best isn’t long-lasting. unless you strongly decide to be at peace with how wonderful things could be now.
it would be wonderful though, to imagine things going well for you.
that the life you’re leading is one you’re enjoying.
i would really like to suppose that.