Dear angel, part 2

Hey angel.
you know, when you weren’t in class today,
I did something.

{read the first part of this letter here}

I wrote “you’re so gorgeous” on your table.
I can’t say that to your face, no, I’m not brave like that.
But I thought you needed to know.
You gorgeous angel.
I know you don’t know it was me.
You were so confused when you first saw it.
You started looking around the classroom.
You told your friend. You didn’t know who wrote it.

I envy her so much. I hate it when you talk to her.
When you say bye to her everyday during dispersal.
****, Why can’t that be me?
Ok, yeah I get it. You knew her before me,
and she’s more social.
I just wish you would also talk to me, you know?
Not just stuff like what my test scores are,
and not just to ask me for something.
Just random stuff.
Like, when you asked me if I can play the guitar, because you do too.
Angel, you know I only started playing guitar
for you?

Honestly, I could just listen to you talk. Or just look at your
for however long. You caught me staring at you in class
so many times today.
You didn’t say anything, though.
I wonder if you ever think of me, or look at me when
I’m not looking.
I hope you do.
Angel, you make me smile but you also make me
cry.
because of her. because you being such a
perfect gorgeous beautiful amazing
angel.
****, i feel so insecure when she’s with you.
when you’re around me.
because you’re you. and
I’m me.

You’re gorgeous. Social. Easy going. Chill. Funny. Beautiful. Kind. Talented. Sporty.
You seem to be
Almost everything I’m not.

She isn’t half of those either, but you like her.
Why not me?
Maybe I should stop.
I’m trying, really. Liking you,
****, I’m in LOVE with you.
But angel, this is just hurting me.
You’re hurting me and you don’t
Even know it.
Of course, its not your fault. It’s mine.
I never should’ve had this stupid crush
and I’m …
****, I’m seriously in love with you.
It hurts.

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