dear best friend

I know we’ve had some rough times lately and I feel really bad about them.
You’ve been mad at me a lot recently and I don’t know what to do.
Ever since we started talking about our relationship it’s been different.

I wish I could just take back everything I said and we might be fine right now.

I think we need to work on our friendship. I don’t want to date you. I want to be your best friend. Because that’s how it’s been for years. Years. Maybe I do like you, and maybe we do have moments, but I care about our friendship more.

Every time you come over we talk. I want to make sure you’re okay, but I also want to have fun times with you too. 2021 was really hard for me, and you know that.

And know everything is going wrong. Everything that’s happening in the world (Ukraine and Russia, Covid). And you’re freaking out. I get it.

And then you start talking to her again. Her. The girl that ruined everything. But you ate lunch with her today, and did math with her. You said that she thrived on the drama. Of course she did. And it took you so long to realize that too.

But you don’t know what she did to me. I was throwing a football will her and you and others and she screams, everyone against (me.) And when I got the football, she would tackle me and hit me in the back. She pulled my shirt. She pushed me to the ground, and at one point I could barely breathe. This was a few days ago and my back still hurts. Then you didn’t ask me if I was okay, you threw the football with her. You could tell that I was in pain, I could see. And then, she made a rule that the person everyone was against, once they got the ball, everyone else couldn’t tackle them.

I don’t know what’s going on with you, but you need to get your **** together.
Go be friends with her, I don’t care. This is gonna happen until we graduate unless she hurts you the way she hurt me. Even though I love you with all of my heart, you need to think for a moment, and then we can talk.

And I want to tell you all of this but I can’t. I’m scared you will just get mad at me all over again.

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